I've come up with a solution to the issue of Game 39. That's the crazy scheme from the Premier League for each of its clubs to play an extra game in some foreign clime as a means of building the fabric of the game around the world.
So far the US and Far East authorities have poured cold water on the idea and it looks like it might be dead in the water.
Well, in the spirit of Bob Hope, I propose that the extra games are played in the countries that most need a boost of pure westernisation - Iraq and Afghanistan. Think about it... We can entertain our troops who are denied footie for six months solid as well as promoting the western values of greed and commercial sponsorship.
Even Didier Drogba might learn the difference between his form of hurt and real suffering.